Change

Same time last year
January 2021
Paris on my own
A beautiful sunny day
It was also very cold

I look at this picture today
And I think of change
Of time
Of growth
Of evolution

The power of time. The power of change
A year. What is a year?
Sometimes it feels like a very long time
Sometimes it’s as if it all went too fast
What is time? How do we make use of it?

I remember all the feelings
A self portrait
Someone had asked for it
I remember the person I was back then
About to shoot my first film
Going all in
With the energy of a beginner
So sure and determined
Also scared as hell
I had no idea what 2021 would bring me next
All the challenges
Doubts. Rejections. Fears
Feeling completely unworthy
How could I rebuild myself?

For the last four years
I’ve shed so many skins
I barely recognize the person I am today
In a way I feel brand new
As light as it can be
It is also quite uncomfortable
Who am I now?

2021 was mostly about the inner work
Connecting to my inner power
Believing in my creative work
Trusting my own inner voice
And keep going
What a scary plan

I look at this picture today
And it brings me back to intensity
To all the rough moments of past years
To the ground work I couldn’t escape
To the loneliness I deeply experienced
To what it feels to stand on shaky ground
To get clearer and clearer
About what I want in life
To trust myself
To trust my heart

I also see the power of sisterhood
The power of community
The power of surrounding ourselves with supportive souls
The power of gratitude
Digging deeper
Learning what rejection means
And keep going
No matter what

In 2021 nothing went according to plan
Absolutely nothing
And yet
I can see that it all makes sense
That each episode has meaning
That each piece is part of a bigger puzzle
No matter the feelings
No matter the hardship
We get to choose how we want to see them

We get to choose who we want to be
This is probably the biggest lesson
I learned from 2021
And for that
I am eternally grateful